Is it wrong to admit that pregnancy freaked me out?

Expectant mums are often made to feel that pregnancy will be one seamless, peaceful journey where at the end we pop (not literally!) a beautiful little baby out; however this couldn’t have been further from the truth for me.

 

Thankfully, I didn’t have any complications during my nine months and I know it can be a lot worse for other mums-to-be, but, to be honest, it totally freaked me out. Like really freaked me out.

 

Pregnancy is perceived as this Disney-like movie where birds sing as they fly past your sunshine-filled home, making it hard to admit when it’s not quite like this for you.

 

In fact, it wasn’t until a quick conversation with an expectant friend recently (who seemed relieved when I mentioned how I really felt) that I started to think, maybe I’m not alone.

 

It wasn’t giving birth that had me worried, nor was it the ever-growing bump; it was the fact that a tiny person was developing inside of me.

 

As you eat your dinner or watch TV, a baby is growing hands, feet, toes, nails, eyes and a heart inside you. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my child and I’m not freaked out by pregnant women, but the movement and butterfly feelings that mums-to-be experience definitely didn’t sit well with me. Not at all.

 

While it’s good to get these things off your chest, admittedly, I feel like the worst mother in the world. When I answer questions about what being pregnant was like, my "it’s a little weird" replies definitely don't resonate well with some people. And while a few give me an ‘I know what you mean’ nod, it’s not something that many people want to admit.

 

Surely I can’t be the only who felt like this, can I? 

 

Mary Byrne is a staff writer at MummyPages and mum to a horse-crazy, sports-mad, seven-year-old girl.