My husband has turned my daughter into something that goes bump in the night

My daughter is turning 13 next week and her father appeared to be in meltdown about it.

And despite my best intentions, he eventually managed to send me completely over the edge as well.

While my daughter planned her first teenage party, my husband drafted a contingency plan on how to deal with the next six years.

Whether he watched too much Jeremy Kyle on his days off or inexplicably schooled himself on shows like Skins when he should have been putting up shelves, there’s no denying that my husband appeared to be experiencing an existential crisis as our daughter takes a brave step into her teenage years.

Her brother made the same leap just over two years ago and his dad didn’t so much as bat an eyelid, but Rebecca’s milestone caused untold panic.

I discovered evidence that he trawled websites on how to parent a teenage girl, I caught him looking at her with what can only be described as an expression of grief and I lent an ear when he woke me up at 2am and asked whether I thought he was up to the challenge of living with a teenage girl.

“She’s not some kind of unknown entity, I told him. She’s still our daughter except she’ll be a day older.”

I spoke to him the way I do our two-year-old after a particularly traumatic nightmare.

“Yeah, but what about all those hormones they go on about?”

Reassuring him that Rebecca was already in the grips of teenage angst and had been since she was about 11 placated him somewhat.

Buoyed by the fact that he had been dealing with our daughter’s meltdowns for well over a year now and had lived to tell the tale allowed him to drift back to sleep.

Ironically, my words of reassurance had the opposite effect on me. Staring at the ceiling, I considered what I had just said.

Rebecca has been having daily teen tantrums for at least 14 months and from where I’m standing they’re only getting worse. Yes, I can deal with it now, but what’s to say I’ll still be able for it in three years?

The fact my daughter hasn't even started her period yet suddenly weighed heavily on my shoulders. For a girl who has yet to experience PMS, Rebecca does a remarkable job of imitating someone afflicted with it.

What happenes when it's the real deal?

I seriously need to look at that contingency plan.