TheZookeeper's Blog

I'm a realist. As an exhausted mother-of-four, I don't really have any say in the matter. Romantic notions of the perfect family life officially disappeared when I found myself pregnant in my earlies forties with my fourth child. Already the mother of a sullen teenage boy, a hyper pre-teen daughter and a seven-year-old son who I once found eating dog biscuits under the stairs, I knew my...

In the run-up to my son's birth almost sixteen years ago, I collected so many baby books and parenting manuals I could have opened my own store. A rote learner, I sat with a highlighter in my hand most nights and carefully marked anything I thought was of supreme importance , but which I feared I might forget once the baby actually arrived. Books, post-its, pamphlets, leaflets, pre-natal...

As a teen and young woman, my relationship with my mother was incredibly complex. We were unbelievably close which, while reassuring in many ways, also meant we often rubbed each other up the wrong way. I marvelled at the fact some of my friends never argued with their mothers – something they put down to the fact they simply weren't close enough to have blazing rows. For a long time, I...

Sometime it feels like I could gently lower the needle on a broken record, raise the volume so that the sound pervades the entire house and slip furtively from my home without any of my family members even noticing. Until they need clean underwear, that is. Being a mum can be a repetitive process and you often find yourself repeating the same phrases, orders and rebukes until the words lose all...

There are few things that cause me more distress as a parent than knowing there is something bothering my child which they won't explain to me. I once came across something which resonated with me long before I ever had children, but since welcoming my four I realise how true it actually is. “You're only ever as happy as your unhappiest child,” read the open page of a magazine in a...

Years ago when Rebecca was about seven-years-old, she asked for a toy kitchen for her birthday. Normally more than happy to treat my children on their birthdays, I found myself utterly conflicted on this one. You see, her older brother, Christopher, had asked for a Barbie kitchen two years previously and against my better judgement I didn't end up getting it for him. Regretfully, I listened to...

My three-year-son is possibly the most inquisitive little creature I have ever encountered. As a mum-of-four, I have fielded my fair share of questions over the years, but since the arrival of Nathaniel my world has revolved around responding to queries and replying to enquiries. Eager to know how the world works and why, Nathaniel will question everything from the colour of the sky to the...

For almost as long as my second oldest child can remember, there had been issues with her older brother. Issues which required professional intervention, issues which caused untold upset and tension within our home, and issues which affected my daughter so greatly she became - what can only be described as - a bag of nerves. Her brother battled desperately with low self-esteem from an early age...

OK, so maybe the title is a little OTT, but while in the grips of PMS, I'd be lying if I said the thought hasn't flash through my head more than once in the course of married life. While undeniably thoughtful and considerate, the man I married is also incredibly slap-dash when it comes to a number of things in the life we share with our four children. And while I try to keep my patience...

I recently went for what is now known amongst my family members as Mum's Monthly MOT. This activity involves getting my nails done, having my eyebrows tended to and treating myself to a quick trim. It may seem extravagant, but as I vowed not to spend a single dime on clothes until I slimmed back down to my pre-baby weight (It's been sixteen years, so I'm thinking any day now) I feel...