What you do when your child says he’s sick

Your morning routine requires the speed and coordination of a troupe of gymnasts to negotiate successfully. 

 

Everyone needs to know their position and perform their role perfectly and on time.

 

If even one step is mistimed or omitted, the entire production falls flat on its face. The words “Mom, I don’t feel well” have no place in this routine.

 

Stage 1: Denial

Your first reaction is to pretend nothing is wrong. “You’ll be fine,” you insist, dragging the duvet back and continuing on your way. “Just have your breakfast.” Ignoring the groans and protests issuing from beneath the hastily retrieved duvet, you refuse to even consider the possibility that your child is unwell. You have a presentation at 8.30am. Children cannot get sick when you have a presentation at 8.30am.

 

 

Stage 2: Bargaining

You finally concede the possibility that your child might not be faking it, even though you’re still not sure. You’ve been fooled before by long faces at breakfast, taken the day off, and then discovered Junior watching YouTube videos on his phone under the covers.

 

So you wheedle: “Just go to school, and if you still don’t feel well at break time, I’ll collect you.” You reason that, once he has been foiled in his attempt to nab a duvet day, he’ll give up and get on with the day.

 

Stage 3: Depression

As you attempt to rescue your beautiful new shoes from the aftermath of Junior’s failure to get to the bathroom on time, you finally concede that he is genuinely sick. You put him to bed, shed a few tears over your ruined L. K. Bennetts and your lost career, and ring your boss. She is very understanding. You feel very nervous. As Junior drifts off to sleep, you scan employment sites and think about spending the children’s allowance on lotto tickets.

 

Stage 4: Acceptance

Junior wakes up a few hours later, completely recovered. It’s too late to go to work, so you give in and make the most of your time off together. You light the fire, make tea and toast, and snuggle up for the afternoon. Because sometimes even Moms need to pull a sickie.  

 

Aoife O'Carroll is a separated mum living in Co Kerry with her two boys aged 17 and 14, and a girl aged 10.