You asked

How can I deal with my emotions after a miscarriage?

It does not matter whether you were pregnant for 8 months or only for six weeks, losing your child through miscarriage is just as strong as experiencing the death of anyone you have loved. To make it worse, people may sympathise with your situation but many of them will not understand your need to grieve a person you have never met. This can just add to your emotional roller coaster and make you feel like you have to justify your reactions.

It is normal to be devastated after a miscarriage. It is also normal to feel numb, anger, grief, depression, and a suspension of belief. When you are caring around another human being, you take responsibility for them. You choose to eat right, stay healthy, take prenatal vitamins and go to prenatal doctor’s appointments. You begin to bond with your child even though you don’t know what they look like and you cannot touch them or see their reactions.

Expect to go through the grieving process. You have lost a loved one, someone near and dear to you. Death is never easy – not when it’s a pet, a parent, a friend – and most especially – a child. For many the grieving process begins with shock and denial and then progresses into anger and guilt and possibly depression. This is normal.

Once you have reached the acceptance part of the grieving process you will be in the home stretch. But the emotional wound will never really go away and can be triggered at any time by ordinary things such as seeing a family out together, going to a baby shower, and holiday gatherings. Allow yourself to feel what you feel.
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