Telling tales is normal at this age. Your child might be trying to gain approval from you by showing how good they are in comparison to other people. Your child might also have a feeling of righteousness and will want to instil this on others. What children at this age don't understand, is how their constant tale-telling affects you and other care-givers.
“I do not want to hear about it unless there is blood being spilled,” is a familiar motto to many parents and some may find the attitude a bit harsh. It is however, a very useful code to go by. Teach your child to only tell you about the really important things people are doing wrong. Your child may still report on something that is not at all dangerous, but in their perception, it is. In this case, you should praise your child for telling you and explain the situation to them properly.
When your child tells tales about another child, do not admonish the other child by default. Your child might be embellishing the facts, or may be trying to get the other child into trouble, as part of an ongoing conflict between them. Teach your child to resolve problems and conflicts as best they can by themselves, before coming to you about it. If you act on every tale your child tells, without checking the facts first, you will encourage this kind of behaviour in future.
At four years old, your child cannot be expected to sort out all problems and conflicts alone. Intervene when necessary and facilitate a means to a resolution, then let your child handle the rest. This will help your child become more independent and able to cope with problems.
“I do not want to hear about it unless there is blood being spilled,” is a familiar motto to many parents and some may find the attitude a bit harsh. It is however, a very useful code to go by. Teach your child to only tell you about the really important things people are doing wrong. Your child may still report on something that is not at all dangerous, but in their perception, it is. In this case, you should praise your child for telling you and explain the situation to them properly.
When your child tells tales about another child, do not admonish the other child by default. Your child might be embellishing the facts, or may be trying to get the other child into trouble, as part of an ongoing conflict between them. Teach your child to resolve problems and conflicts as best they can by themselves, before coming to you about it. If you act on every tale your child tells, without checking the facts first, you will encourage this kind of behaviour in future.
At four years old, your child cannot be expected to sort out all problems and conflicts alone. Intervene when necessary and facilitate a means to a resolution, then let your child handle the rest. This will help your child become more independent and able to cope with problems.
