Ick means no: Emma Thompson writes wise sexual care guide for daughter

Emma Thompson wrote a sexual care guide for her daughter to navigate potentially dangerous and uncomfortable situations.

Her 18-year-old daughter Gaia read an excerpt from the guide on popular comedy podcast My Dad Made a Porno.

Emma began the guide by condemning the word ‘sex’, saying that it’s “a shiz word”.

“It’s all s’s and x’s and sounds like a snake, not in a good way, and is hard and sibilant on the ear, and used to make me feel slightly queasy even just hearing it.


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“For the purpose of these early writings, I’m going to choose another word. In fact, I’m going to make one up. Shavoom.”

Her casual tone suggests to her now 18-year-old daughter Gaia that there should be nothing taboo about sex.

It is an open conversation that can be discussed between mother and daughter at any time.

“There are certain feelings to look out for, and in this patch of life, the really crucial feeling is the icky sense of unease we get when there is shavoomy stuff floating around that we are not comfortable with,” Gaia continued to read.


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“If anyone does anything, says anything, implies anything, shows anything, suggests anything that makes you feel ick, move away, get away, say no thank you, or even just no without the thank you, walk away because ick is an unbelievably useful emotion. Ick means no.”

Emma wrote the guide for her daughter when she was 10-years-old, so that she could learn about consent at an early age.

She went on to describe pornography as the “Kingdom of Ick”. She warned it was available everywhere and gave young people the wrong idea of what sex is like.

Emma told her daughter that sex is not an act separate from your heart, but one that is deeply intertwined with it.


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“When the mind, the heart, and the centre of shavoom are connected, then you are safe. Safe to make a decision about how you are going to act.”

It is important for the mum that her daughter knows the line between what she wants and what society tells her she should want.

That is why she penned an important message on consent that her daughter could refer to throughout her adolescence.

What do you think about this idea? Would you write a similar guide for your own children?


Feature image credit: Getty Images