A child loves nothing more than special time and attention from their parents, no matter what age they are. Many children seek that one-to-one attention in very different ways; the reality can have both positive and negative aspects. Some act out to get a reaction, or others simply take Mum or Dad by the hand and ask “will you play with me?” Life is busy for every parent, and taking the time to sit down and play with your child often takes planning, making the time, and then committing to it and not being distracted by day-to-day pressures of living.
Looking from the outside in, play is an opportunity to get into your child’s world in a very unique and interactive way. Children use play as a way of making sense of the world, expressing themselves, and learning about everyday skills.
Reaping the benefits
The summertime is upon us, and parents are planning the months ahead as they look at balancing their work schedules and childcare as well as their own family time together, whether it’s at home or abroad – either way, and no matter what time of the year it is, creating opportunities to have one-to-one quality time with all of your children has such great benefits.
It’s not only fun and games; it’s a special time to fuel imagination, build skills, explore, and most of all, be together. Play between a parent and child promotes a child’s physical, educational, emotional and social development, and builds attachment. For the parent, it creates a balance of not being the one in charge and setting limits all the time, whilst allowing the opportunity for the child to be in charge for once. For example, allow them lead the playtime. Choosing what to play with, making up the rules, and creating characters from superheroes to including their imaginary friends allows them to develop their self-esteem and confidence.
Play also promotes a natural and positive way of building a relationship between the parent and child. The more positive time and attention we give, the less likely our children are to come looking for or demanding our attention at other times. This balance can really work out well for both parent and child, so for a parent that is juggling work and/ or a very busy household, it does mean putting a good plan in place so each child knows what’s happening when and where - and with their input, of course!
Being one step ahead
Family dynamics vary a lot; one parent may be at home much more than the other, or both Mum and Dad work full-time - so with busy evenings, it can be difficult to find an opportunity to relax and play with the children. 20 minutes a day is the recommended amount of time to have one-to-one time, which is surprisingly short; and the reality for many is that it’s actually the weekends that allow more opportunity to plan for both one-to-one and family time together. The pressure is off and there is a chance to do more together.
A very popular way of organising and planning playtime for any age is creating a personalised ‘Activity Calendar’. I always encourage this for busy families as a way of dividing parents’ time among the children, home and work life. This visual calendar is a great opportunity for the children to pick what they would like to do, while the parent can see the time that is most realistic for them and their family. Making out this Monday to Sunday schedule, and placing it in the kitchen with the child’s name and favourite characters on it makes it both a great novelty and engaging for the child.
If they are guaranteed this time on their own with one parent, it’s both reassuring and something to look forward to. As children always like to know what’s going on from day to day, families find them a great way of noting the weekly schedule with the children, whether that be childcare arrangements, who is doing the school-run and after school activities and, most importantly, incorporating the children’s special time with you.
There is nothing more lovely to see and experience then when our children embrace us and respond warmly to the attention and time we give them, no matter what age they are and whether it’s to play a game or provide a listening ear; it’s quite simply all they want. Friends will become a big part in their life as they get older, but they will always come back to their parent. Nurture this as best you can; embrace it too - a time will come when we will be looking for their time and attention!
Aoife Lee, Parent Coach for Giraffe Childcare
