A mum is ‘calling bulls**t’ on suggestions that ‘special children are only sent to special parents’.
Bernie Martin, a mum-of-two, has really struck a chord this week with her searingly honest post on how comments about her daughter Eva’s Cystic Fibrosis (CF) really make her feel.
Bernie shared her thoughts in an article titled ‘Calling Bulls**t On…Special Children Are Only Sent To Special Parents’, on Maia Dunphy’s site, The M Word.
The mum-of-two can, of course, acknowledge that people ‘mean well’ when they say things like, “special children are only sent to special parents” or “God won’t give you more than you can handle”.
However, she finds these comments more than a little patronising – and understandably so.
“As a ‘special’ parent of a ‘special’ child, I’ve tried to ignore how these phrases creep under my skin and make me itch ferociously, but I can’t stifle it any longer,” writes Bernie.
This is because, just like another parent: “We don’t have the patience of Saints. We don’t cope with sleep deprivation any better than others. We don’t necessarily have an in-built aptitude for understanding medicine or whatever other therapies our children undergo.”
“We aren’t mentally stronger than parents of ‘regular’ children. And we don’t know how we do it, either! But here’s the thing. We do it because we have to do it.”
Bernie’s post has clearly touched hearts and minds around the country – and beyond – because it has garnered thousands-upon-thousands of hits and shares. This mum has the very same struggles as any other mum, her journey is just a little different – so, really, why should there be any differentiation at all?
“I don’t believe any of our ‘special’ children ‘chose’ us because we are inherently or divinely ‘special’, but I do believe they teach us lots of special skills along the way,” adds Bernie.
What are your thoughts? Can you relate to Bernie’s experience with these ‘well-meaning’ comments?
Let us know!