When your child gets to the school going age, you may have spent so much time getting them ready for their new adventure, that you forget to prepare for your own - school gate politics.
 
While the majority of mums are totally normal human beings, you will encounter a few distinct characters when dropping off and collecting your children from school. The only way to survive? Well, you have to know who's who, and have a few go-to conversation starters. Here is our ultimate survival guide to school gate politics:
 
The mum who's involved in everything
This mum will probably be the first to catch your eye. She's the head of the Parents Association and is best friends with the principal. Beware of questions about baking or any kind of arts and crafts as you’ll very likely find yourself powerlessly volunteering for something.
 
Go-to conversation piece: "What kind of after school activities could little John/Mary get involved in?"
 
The mum who's seen it all
She's put about seven kids through the system, and is worn out by the whole thing. It's unlikely she gets along with 'The mum who's involved in everything' as her enthusiasm exhausts her. She's your go-to woman if you want to get an honest opinion on any of the teachers in the school, as she's had dealings with all of them.
 
Go-to conversation piece: "How strict is Mrs. Corcoran about homework?"
 
The all natural mum
You'll be able to spot this mum a mile away from her hand knitted cardigans and long flowing hair. She doesn't eat dairy and will only buy free range eggs. Ideally, she would be home-schooling her children but she just doesn't have the time, as she's too busy baking her own bread from rice flour she grew herself. If she's pregnant, she'll be talking a lot about the benefits of home-birthing.
 
Go-to conversation piece: "Where would I find a yoga class around here?"
 
The yummy mummy
You probably know a few already, but still you will be amazed at the yummy mummy's ability to look red carpet ready first thing in the morning. This mum's immaculate appearance may make her a bit intimidating at first, but she actually has the potential to an ally in disguise.
 
Go-to conversation piece: "How do you walk in those shoes?"
 
The business mum
You won't see much of this mum, because she doesn't have the time to engage in school gate politics. However, when you do see her she'll be completely up to date on school activities and might even put 'The mum who's involved in everything' in her place. A definite ally - befriend this one if at all possible.
 
Go-to conversation piece: Just say hello – she doesn't have time for chit-chat.
 
Bonus:
 
The awkward dad
TImes have changed, so there'll probably be at least one awkward dad at the school gate. Some of the mums may circle around him. The awkward dad will laugh nervously and keep looking anxiously at the front door to see if his kids are out yet - he doesn't want to hang around.
 
Go-to conversation piece: “Did you see Top Gear last night?”

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