If you are taking your child to a funeral of a close relative or someone you know, keep in mind the following advice.
1. How old should they be?
Your child is never too young to attend a funeral, and sometimes it can even help them understand what is going and grieve. Once your child is supported and all their questions are answered as honestly as possible there is no need to leave them at home.
2. Explain that grown-ups will be crying
If can be a little worrying for kids to see adults crying, so do inform them beforehand that this is going to happen.
3. Explain that you don’t have to stay there if they don’t want to
Make sure your older child knows that they don’t have to stay for the entire ceremony if they can’t handle it. It can be a little overwhelming so do sit near the back or at the edge so you can slip out quietly with them.
4. Explain what a funeral is about
While older children will know that a funeral happens after someone has died, they may not understand what it is for exactly. Talk about how it gives friends and family a chance to say good-bye, to remember the person and to honour them.
5. Tell them that they don’t have to feel a particular way
Your child may be a little confused by their feelings, particularly if they were close to the person who died. And it can become even more confusing as people tell them how they should feel: “Be brave”, “be strong” or “don’t cry”. Talk to them about expressing their emotions and that it is ok to feel overwhelmed/ sad/ angry/ confused.
6. Be patient with them
Don’t expect your child to know what to do or how to act immediately, and be patient with them if they do something that you feel is inappropriate. For most youngsters attending a funeral is like trying to charter their way through unmarked territory – they don’t know what to expect, how to behave or even how to feel.
