We're already a few weeks in, and it's safe to say that there are some big challenges with back-to-school and starting school. Here are some tips to support you through this time:
Bed time
Over the summer, most children will have gone to bed at a range of times. Now is the time to discuss with your child what is required over the coming months. Busy school schedules, play dates, after-school hobbies and so much more demand an active child. Talk with them about how important it is for them to have energy and be ready for the day ahead.
Explain how, when you are tired, you can be cranky and not ready for your day. Help them to agree on a plan with you around a good bed time. Young children need a lot of sleep, so early to bed is the best plan. 8pm is really around the latest for the majority of primary school children. This would mean bedtime plans start around 7pm, so at 8pm they are actually lying down ready to sleep.
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Offer a reward system to encourage children to cooperate with the bedtime plan
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Ask them to sketch up the time plan, and stick it up on the fridge
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Allow them to own the plan, and they will be more encouraged to carry it out
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Help them understand it is about them having a good day, not you having a quiet evening
Homework
Some children will complete their homework with no issues; and others will drag it out all evening, with a lot of challenges within the home as a result. Sit with your child and talk with them about last term. Recount a little of what happens when homework is not done quickly and properly. Then ask your child what you can all do differently this year.
Be open to their suggestions. For the first half of term, when the evenings are bright, be open to play time when they get home and leaving homework a little later. Talk with the teacher about assigning all the homework on Monday, so you have all week to plan when it is completed, rather than getting a surprise some evenings when you have more than expected.
Again, offer a reward system to your child, for co-operating with you on the plan. Ensure they write up the plan with you - they need to own it, and you need to then support them to carry it out.
Rewards should always be put in place before negative consequences. This way, you are supporting your child to make good choices. You are telling them that you know it can be hard but you will help them, and then they will see the benefits of making good choices.
Try to stay calm and patient around bed time and homework plans. Once you lose your patience, you have lost. If it is around homework, write a note to the teacher and let them know the homework did not work out, and you will try again the next evening. It is not worth breaking your relationship with your child over these things - especially when they are young and are still learning.
You are the adult, and if you cannot maintain self-control, then stop, let it go, and go back to the drawing board. Look at your own needs, and explore what you may be missing in order to stay calm and support your child. Both these activities are carried out in the evening, so parents are often tired, hungry and stressed out. It is important to recognise and meet your own needs in order to be able to meet the needs of your child. Don’t be hard on yourself, and try not to take it out on your child. You will sort it out; it just may not be today.
School lunches
Most schools have healthy-eating policies which can make parents feel limited in what they can put in school lunch boxes. It can be good to Google some lunch box ideas, and then, over the weekend, have a taster session with children. Look at different breads and wraps, and different types of fillings. Also, look at pasta salads you can make at home.
Sometimes we just get caught up in the idea of certain things that children will eat; and when we present them with new things, they may just like them. Having a friend over for the taster session could be a good idea. At times, children just want to have the same as other children; so if they know their friend may have something similar that is new and interesting, they may go for it.
Pasta and rice salads are very cheap and easy to make up, and last in the fridge for at least three days. Bring children shopping, and take time in the bread, yogurt and fruit sections to get some new ideas.
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Encourage children then to take part in making up their lunch boxes.
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Parents provide the food, but don’t be too slow in encouraging children to take some responsibility with managing the lunch box, or you will still be doing it when they go off to college!
Enjoy the term, and remember: if Plan A doesn’t work, bin it; if Plan B doesn’t work, bin it, and keep planning until you find the plan that works for you and your family.
