Teasing occurs every day in every schoolyard across the country every day. Unfortunately, cruel remarks that are designed to ridicule, taunt, embarrass and make fun of the intended victim are common place and are unfortunately accepted as a general part of life. Parents need effective strategies to help their child overcome being teased and to teach them how to cope effectively.
Here are three common mistakes that parents make when dealing with children who are being teased and three simple strategies to help support them.
Responding with dismissive statements such as:
“You’ll get over it”
“It’s your own fault for playing with them”
Children who are being teased often come to their parents for comfort and support. Parents who are dismissive are often trying to get their child to toughen up, but in reality this response can result in resilience by failing to provide the needed support.
Encouraging retaliation
You should never encourage your child to retaliate with violence or an equally hurtful comment. Retaliation rarely resolves issues in relationships and clever comebacks only serve to create an ongoing spiral of hurtful comments and teasing.
Ignore the problem and it will go away
Ignoring the problem will not make it go away. Turning your back on your child will leave her feeling isolated, lonely and will only serve to make matters worse.
Here are 3 positive strategies that are helpful if your child is being teased:
Be Emotionally Available
A child that has emotionally available parents is more likely to have positive relationships with others. Kids whose parents are not emotionally available are more likely to struggle with relationships with others. If your child is upset because she is being bullied or teased, take time to simply listen and reassure her.
Perspective Taking
If your child is upset because her friend hit her or said something hurtful, why not ask her: “what reason would her friend have for hitting her?” Your child is more likely to tell you why the other child hit her. Through perspective taking, parents can gain insight into how their children feel but also learn about other important aspects of how their children feel.
Strategise Together
When your child is being teased, she will need parents who are available and who are willing to provide help and support. However, too much help can hinder children from developing important relationship skills. It may also undermine their decision making development. It can be helpful to offer reassurance but then ask your child to consider useful solutions. Often, they have the skills to deal with these situations themselves.
Kindness, forgiveness and patience are often far more effective in restoring friendship than aggressive practices, and it’s far more beneficial to guide our children towards these types of mutually beneficial responses.
