A preschool child will use defiance as a way of asserting himself. He wants to show the world that he has his own identity and is not as dependent on you as he once was. With this newfound independence comes trouble.
You must try to be understanding and set limits. When your child will not put away his toys after you have asked him several times, tell him that you know how hard it is to stop playing, but it is time to get ready for bed. In this way, your child sees you as being on his side.
All children need limits and consistent reminders of those limits; “Remember, you must always hold my hand when we cross the street”, or “It is not right to hit someone. If you are angry, use your words to let someone know.” Consistency is the key.
Make sure that you always notice the good things that your child does and reinforce this behavior. If he only gets your attention when he is bad, guess what? He will be bad when he wants your attention.
Use ‘time out’ in a positive way. Instead of punishing your child by sending them to a corner or to their room, let your child decide where it is that he wants to go when he is angry or frustrated. Perhaps a favorite chair can become his ‘calm down area’.
Lastly, choose your battles wisely. When your son is determined to wear his orange shirt with his red pants, let him. When he hides his sister’s doll under his bed, or wants to eat peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, it is sometimes easier to just go along with it. Doing so is not hurting anyone and there will be fewer battles.
You must try to be understanding and set limits. When your child will not put away his toys after you have asked him several times, tell him that you know how hard it is to stop playing, but it is time to get ready for bed. In this way, your child sees you as being on his side.
All children need limits and consistent reminders of those limits; “Remember, you must always hold my hand when we cross the street”, or “It is not right to hit someone. If you are angry, use your words to let someone know.” Consistency is the key.
Make sure that you always notice the good things that your child does and reinforce this behavior. If he only gets your attention when he is bad, guess what? He will be bad when he wants your attention.
Use ‘time out’ in a positive way. Instead of punishing your child by sending them to a corner or to their room, let your child decide where it is that he wants to go when he is angry or frustrated. Perhaps a favorite chair can become his ‘calm down area’.
Lastly, choose your battles wisely. When your son is determined to wear his orange shirt with his red pants, let him. When he hides his sister’s doll under his bed, or wants to eat peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, it is sometimes easier to just go along with it. Doing so is not hurting anyone and there will be fewer battles.
