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Fear of my child wandering off with a stranger: what can I do?

At two and three, your child does not know what a stranger is – let alone who they should trust, and who they shouldn’t! In fact, while it’s okay to start teaching safety at this age, it’s only at around four that your child will truly begin to understand what this truly means. Even then, however, you should not rely on the fact that you’ve explained stranger danger to your child – make sure that he or she is never left unattended in a public place.

The good news is that abduction by strangers is actually a fairly rare crime, and that preschoolers are the least likely age group to be targeted. However, it’s obviously better to be safe than sorry.

When your child is very young – between the ages of two and three – it’s enough to explain to them that to stay safe, they need to stay near to you when you’re out. They’re also old enough to know that no one should be trying to see or touch their genitals – particularly people they don’t know.

To explain the concept of strangers to an older child, for instance, a four year old, try asking your child if they know what the word stranger means. If they say no, tell them that a stranger is any person that they don’t know. Tell your child that strangers aren’t all bad people – but that you can’t tell by looking at someone what kind of a person they are, and that to stay safe your child needs to be wary of all strangers.

Spend some time with your child, pointing out strangers that you see. Whether it’s someone walking in the road, or a man in the queue at the bank, if your child doesn’t know them, they fall into the stranger category.

Teach your child where to go if they are lost (such as the information counter in the supermarket) and point out strangers that are okay to talk to – such as policemen or firemen. Security guards, and teachers other than their own are all strangers that your child can go to if he or she is lost or in trouble.

Don’t use fear to drive the message home. Telling your child that a stranger might take him or her away will only cause fear. Rather remind your child to avoid strangers before every outing, and give them alternatives and plans to use if you do get separated for some reason.

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