Your child may have successfully transitioned from their cot to a bed, and is enjoying their new-found independence. It can be a great fun project to choose new bed linen together and to create a space which is special to them. It may also be their first step in identifying, connecting with and falling asleep in their own personal sanctum. From the beginning, you can reassure your child that they can still join you for morning cuddles and, if you have a co-sleeping arrangement, letting them know that moving to a bed in your room is also a big step!
 
Many parents like to have their own space, and struggle to sleep with an extra wriggling body - that is all arms and legs in their bed! With a good routine, a gentle but consistent plan, and some child-friendly ideas, you can support your child to have their own bed space in no time.
 
Ways to return the midnight visitor
 
Waking up
Did you know that both adults and children wake many times over the course of a night? Smaller children may often look for your presence, warmth and comfort as they rely on you to soothe them back to sleep. Sometimes, it might be a dream that wakes them, or a bump in the night. When children wake in the middle of the night, this is often the time when they will call out or shuffle in to join you in bed. If your child gets up, follow your routine as best you can and return them to their own bed. One way to help them settle is to rub them gently on the back or sing a comforting lullaby – this may be all it takes to reassure your child and send them back to the Land of Nod.
 
Routine with one-to-one time
Going back to basics is always your starting point. Each time you look at any parenting scenario, it’s important to establish how the routine works in that given family situation. Creating a clear and predictable bedtime routine instils a very positive habit for your child. Make sure you help them with their evening ritual, which may include; putting on their pyjamas, going to the toilet, having a drink, washing their hands and face, and brushing their teeth. In addition to this nightly routine, it is important to have wind-down time as part of the evening schedule. This time can be very effective for a child who seeks your attention in the middle of the night, as allowing for special one-to-one time with your child before bedtime - such as reading a story in bed or talking about the events of the day - will allow them to unwind a bit more.
 
Include your child in the plan
Have a chat during the day about bedtime routine, or new sleeping arrangements, as this works really well! Talk to your child about staying in their own bed space during the night, explaining that you want them to have a really good night's sleep - and so do you! They will then be more prepared for your plan of action, walking them back into their own bed and reassuring them about sleeping in their special space. The more consistent you are in returning them to bed, the more your child will be comfortable with their bedtime routine. Changing this from one night to the next can be confusing to a small child, and gives mixed messages; whatever your bedtime routine, and whatever your choice on sleeping arrangements, it is important to be consistent and follow through!
 
Positive praise, encouragement and cottons balls
Positive praise and encouragement work really well, along with a jar of cotton balls! As it’s a visual, reward your child with a cotton ball each morning they have either remained in their bed or have responded well to you returning them in the middle of the night. The cotton wool works a treat as they can see them rise up to the top. Agree to a reasonable treat or a special activity by the end of the week, or when the jar is full, and everyone is happy!
 
Remember, any approach we start off with will take time to establish. Just because your child may resist the initial couple of nights, don’t let it put you off. Stick to the plan, and both you and your child will eventually get a better night's rest!
 
 
Aoife Lee, Parent Coach for Giraffe Childcare
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