For many families, we are two months into the new term and whether it’s starting Crèche, Montessori or big school, there are lots of firsts and new beginnings.
Both children and their parents are finding their feet. As the initial excitement of uniforms and making lunches wears off, the reality for most families is that it is a time for new transitions, tight routines and re-adjustments. I meet a lot of parents in their workplace, and the same challenges arise all the time – the pressure of getting out the door in the morning, juggling both school and crèche drop-offs, managing afterschool, playdates and parties so that your child can still embrace all that’s going on, worrying if your child is doing OK in their new environment of school or crèche as well as trying to find the time to do what is needed during the busy evening wind-down - phew! Is there such a thing as 'calm' at night? I’ve yet to meet a parent that says it’s easy… because the reality is that it’s not. Often, it involves flexibility, making a plan that involves the whole family, accepting that it’s not always going to work and that there will be those days that push us more than others.
It’s always positive to try something new; it might make a difference for both you and your family. As a parent you not only want to be able to support your child as best you can through school regardless of their age, but you also want things to run as smoothly as possible for everyone!
Time and preparation are key
Allow yourself the time to organise uniforms, bags and even lunches as part of the evening routine. Set the alarm 15 minutes earlier than usual in the mornings. Consider the hot food flasks that are widely available by encouraging your child to have a portion of last night’s dinner for their school lunch. Having recently had a conversation with a primary school principal, he commented that he is seeing this more and more, which is great. There’s nothing like a portion of spaghetti bolognaise at school! Often, parents will say there is a row in the morning about picking outfits, particularly for pre-schoolers that don’t have a uniform. To eliminate the dress-off, allow your child pick their outfit (within reason, of course) at bedtime. This encourages giving healthy control over to them as well as having a decision made for the following day.
The value of routines
I believe that routines are very helpful in a number of ways. Firstly, if your child is old enough, start to chat to them about the mid-week morning and evening routines at the weekends – when the pressure is off, take the time to share your expectations of what needs to happen, how they can help, and how you can work together. Secondly, every child likes to know what’s happening, where they are going after school, who is picking them up, etc. So, to sustain a predictable routine, create a weekly fun calendar with their name and favourite characters on it, just for them, where they can set out their schedule with your help. This has proven to work really well, as children cope so much better when they know what’s going on from one day to the next.
Tuning into your child by listening and talking to them about school
Although you would like to know everything that your child gets up to in their school day, for most you’re lucky to get very tiny snippets of ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘good’, or sometimes nothing at all! Stay strong. Avoid lots of questions, however chat to them about their friends, encourage them to do their best, and praise their best efforts. You may like to make space in a corner of the kitchen to display their school work, and allow them feel that sense of pride. Listening to your child allows you tune into what they may actually be worried or scared about as well as what they like and are good at in school. When parents are working and managing a home, we become so busy and can easily forget.
Establish a positive relationship with your child’s school and other parents
When your child can see you working closely with their teachers in their best interests, it can benefit them a lot. Creating a positive relationship with school, their teacher, and other parents lets your child know that their school life is important and that you value what they are learning and their time when you are not together during the working day.
Making time for you and your children
It can be hard to ‘switch off’, especially if we feel overwhelmed with all that goes on with family and working life. When we are away from the children during the day, they naturally want us even more when we see them again in the evening. These feelings can sometimes come in forms of negative attention. To help with this, try to commit to a time at the weekends when you can spend some quality time together as a family, or one-to-one if time allows; something else that can be included into your child’s personalised calendar. You will definitely feel the benefit of slowing down and making time to be present with your children and to tune in to their feelings and needs.
Aoife Lee, Parent Coach for Giraffe Childcare
