Acknowledge his fears:
Don’t try to minimise or belittle your child’s worries just because they appear trivial to you. Let him know that you understand that he’s afraid and that everyone is afraid of something at one time or another. If you reassure and comfort him, he will learn that it’s okay to have fears and that there are ways to confront them. Fears won’t go away simply by ignoring them.
Trying to convince your primary school child that there isn’t any reason to be afraid will only backfire.
Explain, expose and explore
Your five-to-eight year old will be better able to express themselves than younger children; simply talking over their fears can be helpful. Putting a worry into words can make scary things seem less troubling. It might also be helpful to confront a particular fear together, from a safe distance or in familiar surroundings. For instance, your child might have an easier time getting over a fear of dogs if you introduce him to a family members or friends especially placid dog.
Teach self-comforting skills
You will help your child more in the long run, if you teach him how to calm himself when he’s anxious instead of always rushing to soothe him. If he’s upset or agitated, ask him to take deep breaths or sing his favourite song. By redirecting his attention away from the object of his fear, this will allow him to regain physical composure and then work on getting his feelings in check.
Don’t be judgemental
Never make your child feel that he is immature for being afraid, avoid belittling him in front of siblings or friends and instead empathise with him by saying, ‘I can see that you are really worried about the first day of school’ and then work together to make a plan that will help him to cope. Talk with your child in a calm, matter-of-fact way about what’s troubling him, and let him know that you are confident that he can overcome his fears. By encouraging his involvement, you will help strengthen his coping skills.
Don’t show your own fears
If your child sees you break out in a sweat because you are afraid of flying, or if you start to shake every time you walk into the dentist’s office, then he is likely to be afraid of scared of these things too. So, why not try to work through your own anxieties or at least try to downplay them.
It is perfectly, okay however, to admit to your child that you didn’t like having to go to the dentist
