The following tips should help when your child is back talking:
Don’t overreact if your child starts mouthing off or get into a power struggle over the tone she is using. Also, never respond in kind. The best way to deal with it is to speak respectfully to her. Tell her: “I think you can find a better way to say that”.
If your child turns nasty, don’t negotiate, compromise or even discuss her opinion with her, this will only reinforce the behaviour. Tell her that you will talk to her when she has decided to be nice again.
Stay firm in puiblic:
You can’t exactly abandon your child if you’re waiting in the checkout line but it’s important not to back down. Find a quiet spot and tell her that if she does it again she will be missing out on her favourite TV programme.
Focus on how to fix the problem:
Try to discover the real reasons behind her defiant outbursts. Maybe she gets angry when you tell her go to bed because she is afraid of the dark, or maybe she gets angry about cleaning up because she is in the middle of something. Give her a five minute warning the next time so she can finish what she is doing.