Things you should NOT say to a pregnant woman
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Mums like us
There were a number of things that were said to me when I was pregnant that drove me crazy. There are others, many, many others but these are the things that can tip an expectant mum over. Read and tread carefully.
Hormones
Do not ever, on pain of death mention hormones in any context and never ever say: ‘you’re just hormonal’. Whether it true or not, it doesn’t matter, you should be there to comfort your friend when she is sad or upset. She’s putting up with you after all. Show a bit of compassion.
Size
You need to avoid all these phrases:
‘OMG you’re huge’ - you might as well just say: ‘hey fatty, take your hand out of the cookie jar’
‘OMG you’re tiny’ - you could also choose to say ‘it doesn’t look like you’re a normal pregnant woman, there’s something wrong with you’
‘OMG are you sure you’re not having twins’ - with this remark, you've just told your pregnant friend that she is overweight and that she has no clue about having a baby. You’ve also told her that her doctor/midwife/gynie is a numpty for missing the fact that she is expecting twins. This is neither funny nor clever.
Boobs
In a pregnant woman, they do tend to get bigger. They can also be really painful, and in many cases the VERY last thing a pregnant woman wants to be reminded of. Saying: ‘OMG your boobs are HUGE’ is not appropriate, even in private. She’s pregnant, she did not just have plastic surgery. And be it at your own peril if you say it in a group situation. You’ve been warned.
Food / Drink
You can trust that your clever and well read pregnant friend has done all the research regarding what food/drinks should be avoided while pregnant – she doesn’t need you throwing in your tuppence worth.
Names
Learn the following phrase, and learn it well. Practice it so it rolls off your tongue as if it were the most natural and most sincere thing you’ve ever said in your life: 'Oh, that is a beautiful name. Absolutely gorgeous.'
When you have your baby, you can decide what name they get. For now, your pregnant friend does not want to hear why you don't like her favourite and carefully selected name. So, keep it to yourself and stick to approved line.
Due Date
Pregnancy is not an exact science, however, what is exact, is the feeling of utter awfulness that is experienced at month 8 or 9. For the love is all that is good and holy, do not nag your pregnant friend about it. Just assume that you will hear when the little one arrives, and assume that you asking ‘any sign?’ every time you meet her will result in her gauging your eyes out of the voo doo doll she has of you at home.
A growing brood
If she has already had a baby or two, and is pregnant again, assume that your friend will know the work involved. There is absolutely no need for you to point out – ‘jeeze, 3 kids is sure going to be a lot of work’.
Planned or not
This is none of your business. None. I’ll say that again, this is NONE of your business. Never ever ask this question.
