Is it time to let go?

At one point or another most of us have jokingly told our children that as soon as they are old enough they’ll be packing their bags and moving out.

 

I have definitely said this to my little girl on more than one occasion, but deep down I know that the minute she decides to leave the nest my heart will break.

 

I'm not sure why I started contemplating on her eventually leaving the family home recently, but I have a niggling feeling it's because I am struggling to give her the independence she so craves. I watch over her like a hawk when she plays outside, I walk her to the school door and wait until she disappears into the corridor and I kiss and cuddle to her the point of embarrassment... On an 'over-bearing mum' level, I am definitely at the top!

 

Her requests are simple: walk from the school gate to her classroom with her friends or let her get her own sweets in the shop. But while my head says yes to her independence, my heart is saying: “No, don’t do it!”

 

When she’s in my mum’s house she gets her own lunch together, grabbing a bagel and pouring herself a drink and while I applaud her, I can’t help but wonder where the girl who needed me to feed her has gone.

 

I have a feeling my inability to let her go (and I don’t mean pack her off and send her out the door) is based on the fact that it’s hard to see her not rely on me as much. Now don’t get me wrong, I know independence is one of the most important things to give your child, but at this moment it’s definitely something that I’m struggling with.

 

I don’t know if this changes the more children you have, but, to be honest, whether it’s your first or fourth, I think the day your child stops relying on you as much is both a sad and empowering day.

 

Mary Byrne is a staff writer at MummyPages and mum to a horse-crazy, sports-mad, seven-year-old girl.