Motherhood
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The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times, but amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
—M. Russell Ballard
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I am proud to say I have been a mother for 5 years now. Being a mum is not so new to me anymore ; I am blessed with two beautiful girls. Being a young mum is not easy, not at all… but as strange as it may seem, it’s a feeling one can long for too .
The moment I held my first child - Sierra in my hands; everything changed. I knew everything had changed, I was suddenly responsible for the life of this new born.
I am truly grateful to God, my mum and my siblings. Honestly without my support system the journey would have been even tougher. Going down the memory lane, when I found out I was pregnant I thought the end had come to my life. I was always scared whenever I needed to leave my house. There was such a stigma attached to being pregnant as a young person within the African community. This stigma was even more within the church community. There was rumour everywhere, I felt so judged. I would get random messages from ‘ friends’ asking me ‘ Jessica, is it true I heard you got pregnant’. I realised very quickly that those I called my friend weren’t truly my friends.
When I had my second child- Sarina; it was a little different. I kept to myself, I didn’t tell anyone. My family knew of course, but no one else mattered. Just me and this baby, I wanted to give this baby the chance of being truly loved. The chance to have all my attention. People get so stunned when they see me with my second child after such a long time. Today, I have two beautiful daughters, they are God’s gift to me.
There are struggles attached to being a young mum. There is no doubt in that especially trying to work, and juggle a balance between life as a whole. It can be a lonely journey sometimes. There could be a strong feeling of isolation, stress not to mention the feeling of low self- esteem. That’s why a support system is needed. Even when things seemed so tough, when I look at my little angels, I remember the responsibility God gave me and I keep moving. I constantly remember that the way I raise them will either affect them positively or negatively on who they become as grown ups.
I had to sacrifice employment opportunities just to raise my beautiful girls. You know what this means right? I’ll tell you, it meant that sometimes I couldn’t afford to buy what I wanted them to have or what they wanted to have. This become even more real when it comes to decision making, Sierra asked me if she could go to Disney Land for Christmas recently. I had to sit her down and explain to her that ‘ right now , mummy cannot afford it right now ’. I had to encourage her that we’d go during the summer next year. This can be tough right?
One of my Aunt advised me to visit a local youth service centre in my area. I was told they would be of great help with dealing with young parents. I would just like to say at this moment that I did get support from my boyfriend, but i must also remember that I needed to deal with me first, make sure I am a better person for myself in order to be a good mum or partner.
At the youth service, I found out that there was a lot to be offered to young mothers like myself. They helped me in the area of building my confidence, they were able to help me avail of the educational system, personal development and especially surrounding myself in an environment where you felt welcome and not judged. One can also find a valuable space that would give personal time, a moment away from parenthood. As much as you love your children, sometimes you need that space.
I mentioned how grateful I was for the support system God gave me. My family have been so great, with emotional support, minding the girls for me when I’m very stuck. It’s also great for the children to be familiar with my family, you know give my mum the honour of raising them too. I do encourage that if you are a young mum, do whatever it takes to be there for your beautiful child. No matter how hard it gets keep pushing to give them a life better than yours. One day will come and you’ll look back knowing how hard you worked to impact their lives positively.
One last note: being a mother is a job you can never be paid enough for. I now understand why my mum would be so harsh and trying to get the best for us in all aspect of our life.
—M. Russell Ballard
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I am proud to say I have been a mother for 5 years now. Being a mum is not so new to me anymore ; I am blessed with two beautiful girls. Being a young mum is not easy, not at all… but as strange as it may seem, it’s a feeling one can long for too .
The moment I held my first child - Sierra in my hands; everything changed. I knew everything had changed, I was suddenly responsible for the life of this new born.
I am truly grateful to God, my mum and my siblings. Honestly without my support system the journey would have been even tougher. Going down the memory lane, when I found out I was pregnant I thought the end had come to my life. I was always scared whenever I needed to leave my house. There was such a stigma attached to being pregnant as a young person within the African community. This stigma was even more within the church community. There was rumour everywhere, I felt so judged. I would get random messages from ‘ friends’ asking me ‘ Jessica, is it true I heard you got pregnant’. I realised very quickly that those I called my friend weren’t truly my friends.
When I had my second child- Sarina; it was a little different. I kept to myself, I didn’t tell anyone. My family knew of course, but no one else mattered. Just me and this baby, I wanted to give this baby the chance of being truly loved. The chance to have all my attention. People get so stunned when they see me with my second child after such a long time. Today, I have two beautiful daughters, they are God’s gift to me.
There are struggles attached to being a young mum. There is no doubt in that especially trying to work, and juggle a balance between life as a whole. It can be a lonely journey sometimes. There could be a strong feeling of isolation, stress not to mention the feeling of low self- esteem. That’s why a support system is needed. Even when things seemed so tough, when I look at my little angels, I remember the responsibility God gave me and I keep moving. I constantly remember that the way I raise them will either affect them positively or negatively on who they become as grown ups.
I had to sacrifice employment opportunities just to raise my beautiful girls. You know what this means right? I’ll tell you, it meant that sometimes I couldn’t afford to buy what I wanted them to have or what they wanted to have. This become even more real when it comes to decision making, Sierra asked me if she could go to Disney Land for Christmas recently. I had to sit her down and explain to her that ‘ right now , mummy cannot afford it right now ’. I had to encourage her that we’d go during the summer next year. This can be tough right?
One of my Aunt advised me to visit a local youth service centre in my area. I was told they would be of great help with dealing with young parents. I would just like to say at this moment that I did get support from my boyfriend, but i must also remember that I needed to deal with me first, make sure I am a better person for myself in order to be a good mum or partner.
At the youth service, I found out that there was a lot to be offered to young mothers like myself. They helped me in the area of building my confidence, they were able to help me avail of the educational system, personal development and especially surrounding myself in an environment where you felt welcome and not judged. One can also find a valuable space that would give personal time, a moment away from parenthood. As much as you love your children, sometimes you need that space.
I mentioned how grateful I was for the support system God gave me. My family have been so great, with emotional support, minding the girls for me when I’m very stuck. It’s also great for the children to be familiar with my family, you know give my mum the honour of raising them too. I do encourage that if you are a young mum, do whatever it takes to be there for your beautiful child. No matter how hard it gets keep pushing to give them a life better than yours. One day will come and you’ll look back knowing how hard you worked to impact their lives positively.
One last note: being a mother is a job you can never be paid enough for. I now understand why my mum would be so harsh and trying to get the best for us in all aspect of our life.
