Judgment Day
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When I was in secondary school, I didn't have enough money to matter. I went to a school where you were defined by how wealthy you were, the size of your house, who has the best car and the area you lived in. Although it provided a fantastic education, it was the type of school where even some of the teachers looked down their noses at me. I was told I'd never be smart enough because of where I lived, and I was stupid enough to believe them. Everyday there was a new rumour about me, and whenever something happened in school, the blame always seemed to land on me. When I was 16, I decided I had enough of being judged and left school altogether. At least I was living up to their expectations. It was the biggest mistake of my life.
When I was 18, I met my fiancé, and life was great. The only thing holding me back was that I hadn't done my leaving cert, so I enrolled in a Back To Education scheme, and decided I'd get it done for once and for all! I was due to go back that September, but had to turn the place down, when I found out a month before, I expecting my first child. She was born the following April a little girl who I called Ciara. 13 months later, Ryan was born, and although they were a handful, I couldn't have been happier, except for the fact that I still hadn't gone back to school.
Fast forward 3 years later, and both my fiancé and myself are both in year one of a two year course to do our leaving cert. I feel like my life is finally falling into place, and college is much better than secondary school, because this time round it is my choice to be there and I'm really loving it.
I have noticed however, that the judgmental attitude of people, doesn't stay behind in school. I wasn't good enough in school, and now people see me as a stereotypical young mother who didn't finish school, but at least now I'm old enough to realise that there will be people putting you down and trying to hold you back no matter what path your on in life. I've gotten well used to the looks and whispers of older people, shocked by the fact that I'm so young with two kids, but to be honest it really doesn't bother me any more. I love my kids to the moon and back, just as ever mother does no matter how old they, or their children are. Now I'm in college, I'm a mummy to two goregous angels, and I've even gotten myself a guest character part on a new tv show. I know that once I start to be on tv, the people from my past who didn't have the time of day for me, will suddenly want to know me, but I don't need people like that in my life.
So for all the judemental know-it-all's who have ever given me a bad look, or thought negatively about my choice of lifestyle, I'm just as good a mother as anybody else.
And to the people from my past, you know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done not what I've been through. If you were in my shoes, you'd fall at the first step.
Peace x
When I was 18, I met my fiancé, and life was great. The only thing holding me back was that I hadn't done my leaving cert, so I enrolled in a Back To Education scheme, and decided I'd get it done for once and for all! I was due to go back that September, but had to turn the place down, when I found out a month before, I expecting my first child. She was born the following April a little girl who I called Ciara. 13 months later, Ryan was born, and although they were a handful, I couldn't have been happier, except for the fact that I still hadn't gone back to school.
Fast forward 3 years later, and both my fiancé and myself are both in year one of a two year course to do our leaving cert. I feel like my life is finally falling into place, and college is much better than secondary school, because this time round it is my choice to be there and I'm really loving it.
I have noticed however, that the judgmental attitude of people, doesn't stay behind in school. I wasn't good enough in school, and now people see me as a stereotypical young mother who didn't finish school, but at least now I'm old enough to realise that there will be people putting you down and trying to hold you back no matter what path your on in life. I've gotten well used to the looks and whispers of older people, shocked by the fact that I'm so young with two kids, but to be honest it really doesn't bother me any more. I love my kids to the moon and back, just as ever mother does no matter how old they, or their children are. Now I'm in college, I'm a mummy to two goregous angels, and I've even gotten myself a guest character part on a new tv show. I know that once I start to be on tv, the people from my past who didn't have the time of day for me, will suddenly want to know me, but I don't need people like that in my life.
So for all the judemental know-it-all's who have ever given me a bad look, or thought negatively about my choice of lifestyle, I'm just as good a mother as anybody else.
And to the people from my past, you know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done not what I've been through. If you were in my shoes, you'd fall at the first step.
Peace x
